Allegiant: Film Review

Hello guys! Many apologies again, I had a re-lapse and was unable to film my Allegiant: Film Review 😦 Another load of pills and I am hopefully on the mend for good this time!

So here is my review for Allegiant.. a long time coming and I warn you it’s lengthy! And there will be spoilers, so if you haven’t yet seen the film please do not read ahead! 🙂 (Also mild frustrated swearing)

Even before any trailers came out I was wary for this film. The book was one of the worst books to end a series I had ever read, and the way Insurgent had ended had left me confused. One, I didn’t understand why everyone was running to the wall when that never happened in the book, and two Evelyn didn’t kill Janine….Tori did. Which would have been a nice circle of justice for her brother which they bothered to spend time letting the audience know about in the first film.

Sighs… Anyway so when the trailers came out I felt a little sick. I mean this is supposed to be dead Earth…coca cola labels on the walls, vodka bottles – our forgotten culture is still supposed to linger! We are not supposed to be on Mars…. I was surprised we didn’t see Matt Damon appearing with his potatoes but hey – there’s still the last film to come.

 

We start with everyone running to the gate and being blocked off by Evelyn’s guards..Tris’s hair has obviously had some miracle grow because from what it seems days later from where we ended on the second film her hair is able to grow to her shoulders. Nice going Tris, tell me your hair secrets.

I still get annoyed by Edward not having an eye patch… I mean seriously small things they could have added here from even the first film!! (sorry a small rant but they include him on the leader boards man 😦 )

The trials happen….. ugh…. but Caleb is saved before his….(Good performance by Ansel Elgort) and the comedy here is mildly amusing. Miles Teller shows up bringing life to this film (he was absolutely superb.)My only thing is that the green screen  here was awful. The background on him was so obviously fake it hurt. And ruined a good delivery by Miles because all I was thinking was seriously?? Did no-one in the editing room spot that, or has someone cut your budget down?

We escape up the wall….Tris, Four, Christina, Caleb and Tori. With grabble hooks….

We have no time to appreciate the top because Tori dies and I am unbelievably distressed at how little time we get with this. I mean, TORI??? But no, leave, hurry on guys- No one else but Tris has any emotion here. Not even Four- I’m sorry, weren’t you guys close?

We then cross over into Mars…. WOOP. Then, blood rains on them. Sorry we didn’t step into Mars – we are actually in one of the time segments in the Quarter Quell Hunger Games arena, way to go guys! So then go to some ‘shelter’ but they still get rained on by this blood so again, what is the point of this building?? Miles Teller comes out with some more comedy gold to make you feel better and then we move on. Over red dessert, red soil and red rivers. Edward has come through with them and tries shooting at our main characters but luckily they get through to the dividing line and meet the guards of the Bureau. Apparently there is life on Mars.  The tech is weird… really weird.. And apparently there is radiation everywhere now which hasn’t hurt them yet but quickly  save the characters by putting all of them in these orange gel pods and attach them to your ship before they float to the main building. What the hell – it was the most stupid scene I had ever seen… apart from the one that comes next.

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When Tris is getting decontaminated…. what is that awful CGI when the orange glob attaches itself to her and chokes her out? Did I even read this book??? And her new clothes are fricking white (compared to the others which are all dark) because she’s ‘PURE’ and we must be spoon fed the entire way through this film.

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(SIDE NOTE: Michael is creepy, with his lips which are way too big for his face and his watchful stalker like eyes.)

The lift up the DNA building is ridiculous. They go up and down to be efficient not around and around to what, view the sights? Because Mars has looked so appealing thus far) . And Tris your eyes must be super human because I wouldn’t be able to tell that small body was my boyfriend, no way.

Moving on.

There isn’t enough on Nita. Not on her relationship with Four or the impact with Tris- Their relationship as a couple even seems peachy apart from Four’s frustrations?? And in the book he is a dick! And Uriah? I should have mentioned this earlier but where the f**k was he??? THIS WAS A MAJOR PART IN THE BOOK YOU CANNOT TELL ME YOU’VE JUST ERASED IT?

Okay you did. I guess you’re going to twist that up in the next installment right?

But he’s playing around as one of the Allegiant with Johanna, happy go lucky I guess.

QUESTION: Why is Christina considered more highly skilled at fighting than Four is? When they go to the wasteland to kidnap those children, the soldier in charge only seems to talk to Four saying he’s ‘not ready’.Christina has only been a Dauntless for what, maybe a year? She cannot be more skilled than Four- so what were you thinking directors? And why when she has a background of Candor would she not stress and question about what they were doing while they were doing it?? She’s so outspoken as a character this just didn’t fit with her.

*

Tris doesn’t believe Four about what he’s seen, and she still goes with David (who is creepy as, I mean Tris come on- YOU’RE SMART. YOU ARE, YOU QUESTION THINGS. But I guess the mention of her mother has made her emotional and blurred in judgement)

Also stupid David. Did you not think that the lies you had spun Tris would all come out to the council?? Really? How did you think you would stop her questioning them when apparently ‘know her’. I guess you lied about watching her non-stop since she was born huh?

I have no idea what those ships are by the way. We were supposed to have dirt trucks…but hey they have made this a sci-fi film now and we all have to roll over and accept that.

The screens where they kept watching back home really pissed me off, the squares didn’t settle for ages and to look at it really hurt my eyes.

Tris has apparently been having driving lessons and shocks David by driving it to escape with Christina and Caleb who has a great line here ‘IT LOOKS LIKE THREE SHIPS ARE FOLLOWING US’ cough. Cheers Captain Obvious.

Meanwhile, Four is kidnapped by the Factionless at this point (as he had been involved in a crash and tried to make his way home) and Evelyn keeps him locked up. David, now learning of Tris’s change of mind chases up Peter to go back to Chicago and get to the serum. Now forgive me, but am I being thick here? They were always, ALWAYS going to have to send someone in to re-set the damn experiment. Why not just have a way to do that from the Bureau????

So Peter is with Evelyn,  telling her to let off the gas. Tris, Christina and Four appear telling her no. She initiates the gas, after being told it would only affect the Allegiant. I guess this is clever gas right? It can see and sense an individual’s allegiance? Yeah, I thought not. But Evelyn buys this and presses the button in glee. The initiation starts. We wait as the ‘tension’ builds as it rises.  Evelyn then stops it after Four’s pleading, actually I am sure it’s the emotional blackmail when he says the word ‘Mum’. Peter has enough of this shit and stabs her, and presses the button back on again.

And then that’s that, the gas spreads through the air, and the colour is damn reddy/orange again. Why? Why is everything to do with outside ORANGE/RED?!!!?And it seeps everywhere, and people are coughing and spluttering and it starts coming up to our main characters, Peter and Evelyn (who’s on the floor and really is the first to get surrounded but this seems fine as it doesn’t seem to do any harm). Peter runs through it all with his hand in front of his mouth… okay see how long that will save you. Which we find out is right until he can run to the border. He can hold his breath for that long? Or the gas was clever? MAKE UP YOUR MIND GUYS.

Tris goes down this stupid tunnel to get to the main lever to stop the gas. Which after holograms of David trying to stop her (he’s controlling the doors and passageways from the Bureau) she manages to stop the gas, it seems to just retract.

Gas…retracts… like it was a solid or liquid form…..

DEFINITION: Gas =an air-like fluid substance which expands freely to fill any space available, irrespective of its quantity.

But apparently when summoned it leaves the areas pure and even though so many people breathed it in – NO ONE HAS FORGOTTEN A THING? NO ONE IS AFFECTED? ARE YOU SHITTING ME? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE PEOPLE WHO HAD A PART IN THIS FILM? REALLY???

I shall wrap this up now because I am so mad in immersing myself back into this (I could have so much more to say)  and this is so long (I hope it hasn’t bored you)

The funny thing is, in the credits it said this..

‘Based on the novel, by Veronica Roth.’

Pah. ‘Based’

I laugh weakly.

 

 

 

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